I don’t know what the hell is happening to me.
One second I’m so happy and next I’m like a riot. One time I’m inspired next I’m so depressed like the world’s gonna collapse soon. It seems like I’m taken aback from a sudden feeling of loneliness and I’m to pessimistic to think about positive things. Like, all I know is the world hates my existence. I don’t really know what words to say in this, I’m too speechless. I’d rather sulk on the corner and not bother anyone for the whole day.
I want to be happy all the time but there’s a certain voice in my head that’s telling me not to. That, in the end, I’d only regret everything because it will all go back to the routine: Sadness. Yes, back to the same old drama so why should I bother being happy? There’s something in me that I’d really like to change but it’s me. It’s within me and I’m only a human and humans don’t usually do things easily especially if it involves personalities because we are born with them. We are who we are.
I’d really like to change for the better because people don’t think I’m not good enough with everything. Every one else just underestimates me. And worse, people – and in general, nobody likes me. Nobody wants to be at my side and listen to my endless talks about gods and goddesses, about the book of Paulo Coelho, about the desk I have in my bed that is really full of books and my fave rock bands. Nobody wants me because I’m so introvert.
And don’t pretend to like me and console me because I’ll only feel worse. Thanks.