memoirs

You know what creeps me out in this lazy Saturday afternoon with just me in a room? It’s like memories are visiting me. Sure I got twitter and facebook and tumblr (not to mention the movies I’m watching) but yeah, I get weird shivers single time a thought suddenly pass my brain. I got too much stress this past few weeks and I’m really tired talking about heartaches. Letting myself be happy is what I’m aiming this holiday.

What could possibly go wrong this days? What could make me sad? Times like these, I’m so melodramatic. Even rereading my blogs makes me a bit emotional. I’ve been in a hell lot of comedies and tragedies but who am I kidding? I’m not even done with this! I’m not even half-way done with my story. Sometimes, I get a bit scared knowing I got a life to live. You know, people expect me to be successful and such. Of course, I want to live my life to the fullest. But I’m still young. I still want to taste every platter that is handed on me. The point is, I don’t wanna be judged because of the things I have and haven’t done yet. I’m not that brilliant. I’m not that smart. I’m not that talented. I’m a regular kid just like everyone else so the expectancy of other people really scares me. It scares me knowing that my life is just laid out there and I feel like it is scripted if I follow their advices.

I want to do things on my own, you see.

I don’t want to be stuck here and create non-sense things.

Memories. Speaking of, I wonder if how many people would make me want to remain on their memories. What if there’s a sudden tragedy and the only thing you will have with you until the end is your memory. Will I be there?

Or worse, I’d kneel down and ask for my memory. (Truth is, I’m erasing mine)

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