Hello, stranger

Could it be that I’m opening my heart once again? That after all the hurt, the disappointment and the unanswered questions, I’ll take my beating heart out of my chest?

I have known you for so long that I can’t even point where I started having this strange feeling I feel in my gut. We were good friends, I know. But can this escalate to another level? Are we capable of exploring that?

I don’t want to mess this up. Honestly, I’m scared because I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want this to end like the ones before you.

Please don’t stop happening to me.

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Leaving you behind

I’m gonna make this post short.

This is it, the last days of the year of our Lord, 2017. But I’m still alive and breathing, and feeling for that matter. This year gave me few heartaches, struggles and blessings. I’ve been brokenhearted twice and for God’s sake I don’t wanna go over that feeling again. But who am I to be exempted from that shitty mess?

All I know is I’m still trying to love me. A constant struggle, I know. But a new year can make new hopes, right?

Sucks to be the one crying but hey, I’m done with that. I’ll miss you, Jake but I’m putting the final dot here.

Goodbye, babe. Good night.

And it takes all my strength not to dig you up
From the ground in which you lay
The biggest part of me
You were the greatest thing
And now you’re just a memory
To let go of

I may have seen this chaos coming, but I beg the universe to somehow make a miracle and to please, for once, let me get what my heart wants.

This is me saying goodbye to you. From all the laughter and pain you brought, I’m saying goodbye to all of them.

This is me allowing my heart to heal. From all the trouble it went through.
I’m letting myself breathe.

This is me thanking you for everything. I have learned so much from you. And I’m learning that sometimes, love is not enough.

This is me finally letting go.

I miss you, come back.

Darling, when I say, “You are the compilation of the most beautiful things in the Universe”, I don’t only mean, “You are a shot of morphine in my veins” or “I could write a thousand love notes about how wonderful you are – that even in your darkness I see the light”.

Babe, I mean, “If everyone has a heart as pure as yours, there’ll be no more violence, anger and sadness”.

I miss you, baby come back.

Day 2 of Learning

Babe, I still think about you. About us. About our little love story. Or perhaps, our own story about love.

I read somewhere that when you truly love someone, you would not care about the heartbreak. I guess this is true since I have felt great and immense amount of love for you that even if you have broken my heart, its pieces would still long for you. Say it’s pathetic but isn’t that what we are all going for? To be madly in love and forget the whole world and the shenanigans that comes with it. Because from what I know, love is rarely mutual. So when you find it, grab it. Never let it go. Because when you are happy, why should you care about the past heartaches and the endless possibilities of the future? This is love, kid. And if that’s true love, you don’t throw it away.

You pursue. You thrive. You work hard for it. Life is never easy. So when you find that inspiration, embrace it. Because the universe is unpredictable. And I think I’m fortunate enough to have you in this weird world.

Too bad we’re stuck in being in love. And love, babe, is not that simple. When you love, you commit. We both have to adjust, sacrifice and put effort. Maybe you are not ready today, but I cannot inspire you to love me without knowing what’s the future of us. And in this case, if we really have a future.