before I leave work today

In exactly 16 minutes, I’ll be done with today’s work.

But within the whole 9-hour shift, my mind is occupied with the idea of you. No, I do not consider you as a distraction because I can pretty much handle my responsibilities (also, I have only a few tasks today).

I don’t think you have any idea how much I think about you. And that’s a pretty big deal to me. Sometimes I miss the old me, the one who will only worry about what should I eat for lunch, what should I do next weekend, where should I go next month.

But now the idea of us is probably what keeps me up all night. I dream about you to, I’m just too scared to tell you the details.

All I know is, each time I wake up, no matter where I am, I always think about you first. And I really really want you to know that you tell me your good mornings too. In our language, that means you thought of me too, the moment you opened your eyes.

I keep on praying that this will be the last relationship I’ll ever be in. I don’t want anyone else, dear. Just you.

I once sent you a lengthy message of how I feel and I’m so happy you accepted my emotions and not make me feel awkward about it.

Can you always hug me and kiss my cheek when all the words have been spoken and what’s left are our deep sighs? Can you always hold my hand and be my warmth and pull me closer and touch my fingers and look into my eyes like you want to swim into my thoughts?

It’ll take forever for me to know you and that’s one thing I won’t ever be tired of.

You’re my dearest, E.

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